She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
