I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
