I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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