she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
