He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
