I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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