Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
