Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
