shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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