winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
