I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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