I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
