dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
