Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
