No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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