I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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