There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
