we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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