you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
