I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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