if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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