it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
