I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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