i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
