yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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