Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend

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(513): View more from Ohio

I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors

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(815): View more from Illinois

I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.

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(416): View more from Toronto

At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

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(248): View more from Michigan

This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.

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(914): View more from New York

Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.

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(850): View more from Florida

I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.

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(303): View more from Colorado

its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN

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