he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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