who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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