"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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