If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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