I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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