): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
