dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
