I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
