My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
