fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
