I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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