I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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