Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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