And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
