I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
