he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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