you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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