i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Come see our sink grown plant.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
