Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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