Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
