D3 body, D1 cock
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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