Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
