Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
