At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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