Walk of Shame. In a state park.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
